Deepest Music Within ..

Thursday, May 17, 2007

its time for me to blog again ya. Its already sometimes since the last time i update.
alright, this maybe a long one yah, just bare with it.

last WEDNUSDAY, i have completed my ART paper, as well as the end of Mid Year exam.
so i manage to hand in on time, haha, and the 3 hours, i used it wisely.
so i am quite confident that i will pass my art exam, hahaha.

yesterday was the released of the results, i am so scard when i woke up in the morning.
so went to school with a EXTRA light bag, cause there are no lessons for yesterday.
same thing, National Anthem and Pledge, a must!
after that, look at the time table for all the subjects. Chemistry, English, Chinese, Physics.
after looking at it, i took a deep breath and nearly fainted!
so i receive the Chemistry paper first, unfortunately, i FAILed!
i did not do well, the paper was difficult, i know i am giving excuses, but its true.
so telling myself, this is the only subject, still more to come, don't be afraid.
next period was ENGLISH. Mrs Loy came and announce, JW gt top for Paper 1.
heard people saying my name, in my heart, i am prepare that i am not going to do well.
Ashler got top for Paper 2, and she is the only person who passed paper 2.
i am so demoralized, totally break-down... not because i did not get top.
its because, i failed. For paper 1, i chose the wrong question. Paper 2 is tough, and it really do.
instead of doing expository which i am strong in, i did narative. and did not answer the qns.
whats wrong with me! why am i like this, i am so sad, totally out of words.

during chinese, there are no papers to check, but assignments to complete.
so take the time to review and recap, as well as to do the assignments assigned.
how can i fail english? its an important subject!
totally disappointed with myself.
after the break was Physics, thinking that my Physics will be alot better than Chemistry.
took my paper from Teacher Anna, i was rooted, nearly breakdown and cry.
seriously!! i am so sad, the whole day, all failure!! why is this happening to me?

after school, went to sat down outside the band room alone.
pluck on my ear piece, refuse to listen to anyone, all i want is silent and peace.
as i listen to the music, the words my dad told me run through my mind.
he said something that i will never forget. And i will drop my tears whenever i remember it.
he said" no matter how lousy your maths are, or even other subjects, just go for the O levels, try your very best, and its enough. "
hearing that, i am so touch, i do not want to waste my parents money, and i will do it! for them!
so tears rolled down my face, refuse to wipe it off, let it drip down my clothes.
went into the band room, lied on the table, and started crying, with my ear-piece on.
refuse to talk, refuse to eat.
took a piece of paper and drew down everything that i felt on the piece of paper.
i can only say, by drawing and dripping of tears.

today is another release of results day...Physics, Mathematics, Art, Combined Humanities.
we did nothing in physics, just sat down and do our own stuffs.
During maths, Miss Wong gave back the exam scripts, knowing i will fail, but never give up.
she said that, Paper 2 i did quite well, even though i fail, but not for paper 1.
she mention that, i have alot of careless mistake.
sadly, returned to my sit, why and i so weak in maths? why? and i stupid?
i just can't get it into my head, i hate maths alot, but i know i cannot run away from it.
why people can do it, but not me? why? its so unfair!!!!!!!!!
after such a thought, went to art room, this is the only subject that i fell that theres hope.
indeed, i passed, both coursework as well as paper 2.
combined humanities was next, i was so scard, when i got the paper i felt a sense of relief!
i passed! both history and social studies!!!

so in one days, i got all the bad results, as well as in 1 day i got the good results!!

English-> Paper 1: 27/60, Paper 2: 15/50, Total 38/100--> F9
Mathematics--> Paper 1: 28/80, Paper 2: 41/100, Total 38/100-->F9
Combined Science-->Physics--> Paper 1: 14/20, Paper 2: 24/65, Total 38/85
-->Chemistry--> Paper 1: 9/20, Paper 2: 23/65, Total 33/85
-->Total for Combined Science: 42/100-->D7
Chinese-->B4
Combined Humanities--> Social Studies--> 34/50
--> History--> 28/50
--> Total for Combined Humanities 62/100-->B4
Art--> Coursework-->68/100, Paper 2: 58/100, Total-->64/100-->B4

alright no matter what, i will still need to look forward and work forward to the next exam.
and thats non other than PRELIM.
its very important, take this as an learning experience...
alright i gotta go...

aHbOeiiShEnG
bLaStInG tO eAt
wooSH!~!!!

Labels: take a break BUT not give up.

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